Setting and keeping healthy boundaries will change your life.
Over a century ago, poet Robert Frost wrote “good fences make good neighbors.” The same can be said of boundaries in relationships. In relationships boundaries define our identity and our responsibility and they give us the emotional, physical and relational space we need to thrive.
Boundaries allow us to have our own individuality and freedom. Boundaries say we can have our own hobbies. We can decide what events we’ll attend. They allow us to set priorities, and have our own belief systems. Having boundaries encourages independence and helps set expectations. Boundaries create norms around conflict, and allows us to determine what we will and will not do.
There are relational boundaries, time boundaries, physical boundaries, monetary boundaries, and work boundaries.
Sometimes we’re afraid to set boundaries because we think the person might resent us, but the reality is, setting boundaries creates pathways for us to be authentic in our relationships. It isn’t “cutting someone out” and being rude – it is setting clarity and giving a playbook for expectations. We’re not harming another person by setting boundaries. We’re preventing harm to ourselves.
Clear boundaries lead to healthier, more genuine connections. They prioritize self-care like getting the right amount of rest, and promote our sense of self-respect. They grant us the power to say “no” and stick to it. Most of all, boundaries allow us to take and own responsibility for our own behavior. Instead of blaming others for “forcing us” to do something we didn’t want to do, they let us stand our ground with confidence.
The beauty in boundaries is that they change with seasons of life. They pave the pathway for authentic connection. They are being kind to yourself.
We’re all on our life journeys, and as counselors, we’re honored to walk alongside and support people who are eager to establish and safeguard healthy relationships today.
Are you struggling with the concept of boundaries? Do you feel like you’re constantly giving and never getting replenished for yourself? Do you find yourself overworked, exhausted and frustrated with other people? Maybe it’s time to invest in yourself a bit to what changes you can make to live at peace with yourself? If you’re wanting to understand more about boundaries, we invite you to listen to our podcast series released this January – all about boundaries. And, when you’re ready to take a step toward a more balanced version of you, give us a call. 317.431.9979, or email us at help@caretochange.org . We’re here for you.
